i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
