OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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