It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she peed on how many people?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
soo... how was my night?
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