I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
