So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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