some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
