drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize