ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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