i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
