i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
