office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
