The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
