That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
