If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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