Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
