i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
