Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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