he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
