brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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