he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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