my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
