I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize