Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
