Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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