So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
