my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
