I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
