Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
