My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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