I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
