Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
