I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
FUCK WHALES
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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