I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You can't motorboat a personality
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
