I never want to see another naked old woman again.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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