i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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