we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
