I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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