You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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