OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You made out with two different species that night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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