Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
the raccoons are back...
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