if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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