that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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