So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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