I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
