PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
