My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
