I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
