I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
