would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
