wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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