I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
