Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
